The third piece in my four part series, The Truth Teller.
And again, I’ll mention that I don’t share this for pity or sympathy only to shed light & maybe share a glimmer in the darkness to anyone who needs it, to help them feel seen, heard, and understood in an un-understandable situation of family scapegoating and neglect.
In healing from family scapegoat & narcissistic abuse, the truth of the situation becomes very apparent once you start to see what and who is behind it all.
Often it’s surprising.
You become the whistleblower, truth teller, secret exposer, lie debunker.
And the family system does not like it one bit. You become a threat to their lies and their inverted reality which is designed to protect them, not you.
For me, I spent a loooong time researching why my former family treated me the way they did.
This article sums it up exactly.
~ excerpt from Ostracism and being the scapegoat in the alcoholic family; Mis-adventures with angry alcoholics, bullies, and narcissists
I will always tell the truth of the situation, and, if they wanted kindness, they should have been kind.
The craziness of it all is often too crazy for people to comprehend. And that’s by design on the abusers end.
Make the abused look like the crazy one & we get off scot-free and continue along like nothing ever happened.
If we lose them, oh well, at least our secrets are safe.
They called me crazy, unstable, needs help, when in fact, it’s the exact opposite. It’s an interesting process and you lose a LOT of people along the way as you wake up to it.
And that’s ok.
You find out who your real friends are, turns out, not many. Some may WILL even try to gaslight you or tell you you’re wrong. But the truth always shines where they don’t want to look themselves. You may lose more people in the process than will stick around.
And that’s also ok. It’s actually a good thing in the end.
We black sheep and scapegoats know hurt.
We know what it’s like to be rejected by people who should always have your back no matter what.
The worst criminals often get treated better by their families than we do. We lived our lives just trying to survive in a system designed to destroy us and protect the abusers & enable them to continue to lie and destroy.
The truth is what the abusers fear.
Being exposed and all their insanity, hurt, and abuse uncovered.
Maybe losing their supporters, enablers, flying monkeys.
Their narcissistic suppliers. Discard them before they get discarded themselves. Because ouch! The truth hurts! Oh well. Deny, deflect, blame, shame is the name of the game and they are pros at it, it’s almost a sport to them.
I will always tell the truth about what happened to me. It’s actually really important to me. If somebody asks, I will tell them the truth of what it’s like to be rejected and turned on by your own parents and family.
Don’t believe me, at this point, idgaf.
The truth always comes out in the end, it may take some time, but it always does.
I also recommend this blog post by Bethany Webster, it helped me very much in understanding no contact with my family of origin.
Going No Contact: When Estrangement is a Healthy Choice – Bethany Webster
~ Excerpt from Going No Contact: When Estrangement is a Healthy Choice- Bethany Webster