The next Coloricombo prompt, @estemacleod @lorisiebert.studio colours: Cobalt, Ecru, Warm Red, & Navy
The next one in my series, going out to my fellow black sheep, the ones who were shunned, hurt, kicked out, ignored, made fun of, just for being themselves.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my inner child and what she needs to feel safe. As a kid I wished for somebody to come get me, to protect me, take me out of the chaos that is a severe alcoholic narcissistic home. I begged to go live with my gran, or my aunt & uncle, something, somebody please listen!
Of course things didn’t change as an adult, and I was continually treated like a piece of garbage, not only by f*mily, but also people I thought were friends, co-workers, bosses, even people I had just met! Ask me about the time this horrid woman in a quilting group I used to be in who told me to my face that my work was “unfortunate” then went out of her way to purposely smash right into me almost knocking me over (with witnesses who saw it happen), and another lady in that group who told me- during a “get to you know” exercise no less, that tattoos are “ugly” (I had a new one at that time that she saw & commented on). NICE, and WTAF- huh!
Patterns repeated and repeated & I could never figure out why, what was so deeply wrong with me, why was this happening all the fucking time?
It all ties back to the dysfunction at the former f*mily level, and that whole shit show. I’ve learned SO much about that whole scene & why & how they operate, and got myself out and safe. It was never, ever me.
Now I’ve been out for a few years, I can really see. And honestly I have not been treated like that since I left that all behind. What a relief!
I’ve been helping my little me know that she is safe and she can be herself without worrying who will make fun of her or who will try to stomp her down.
She’s protected and she’s safe, and nobody can hurt her ever again as they will have to get past ME and I am not taking any shit from anyone, no matter who they are, any more. I’ll use my extra large size 12’s to kick their sorry asses to the curb, ha!
Again, I share only to share my experience in hopes that someone who is hurting from this same treatment in their life, might feel seen and heard, and understand that it’s not their fault. For real.
#coloricombosept #coloricombo #blacksheepsunite