Coloricombo Sept #2 I Finally ducked

woman holding an arrow, with flowers at her feet

The next coloricombo prompt, @estemacleod colours: Buttermilk, Mauve, Scarlet, Edamame, Deep Purple inspired by one of my favourite fashion illustrators, Helen Dryden. I have a book with many of her covers for Vogue, simply beautiful.

I’m continuing my series, and this one is going out to my fellow f*mily scapegoats and black sheep who have escaped (or are in the process of) and know that feeling when you finally wake up to all the abuse, bullying, and evilness in general and duck once and for all!

The former abusers, bullies, taker-advantagers (assholes should I say) in my life sure as fuck didn’t like when I started ducking from their poison arrows and not bending over backwards to suit their every whim.
Good old Cynthia, always just took it in hopes of being included, liked, somehow seen.
But it never happened no matter what I did.

So I started ducking- saying no, not giving in, not handing over, not being there whenever they wanted, not planning, not organizing. Their poison increased and their efforts to hurt me escalated.

Once I ducked right out of their way, I started using their poison as fuel to grow myself and learn and heal, asking questions and finding missing puzzle pieces.
I used their vicious, thoughtless words as fertilizer and turned them into my own lovely private garden full of flowers and love.

They wouldn’t recognize me now, I’m too busy tending my garden to ever turn their way again.

I don’t share this for sympathy whatsoever, but rather to empower and share my story, as I’ve learned so much from others sharing their stories.
There’s something huge in knowing that you’re not crazy, not an evil/bad/horrible person like you were made out to be by the very people who were supposed to have your back no matter what, and that somebody else can actually see and hear you. Most people won’t get it or empathize, because they haven’t experienced it- makes sense- but those of us who have, get it.
If you’re going thru something similar, I *know*. I see you, and I understand. A million times.

#coloricombosept #coloricombo #escapegoat



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